Emotions of an Inmate Entity

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inmate

I used to be a Correction Officer. I worked in a jail for almost ten years and saw my share of violence. One backup call had me following a trail of blood to an officer who had been attacked by a mental patient. (Prisons and jails treat more mentally ill in America than hospitals or treatment centers).

Another backup call was on the medical floor where an inmate committed suicide by crushing his head between the metal frame of an electric hospital bed.

I had many experiences, but only one turned me from a skeptic to a believer in the paranormal and began my search to find answers.

It was lunch time and I decided to visit another officer who worked in the Holding area. Holding was located in the jail basement where the inmates went after they were booked in. They would be held there until released or moved upstairs. As I walked down the hallway that lead to Holding, an inmate worker told me to look in one of the cells. When I looked through the door window I saw a white, middle-aged male hanging from the bottom of the inmate phone. (Some Holding cells had their own phones. They were big, metal, and mounted to the wall). Opening the door with my key in one hand and calling for backup on my radio with the other, I ran into the cell.

He was hanging between the bottom of the phone and the floor in a sitting position. I got behind him, hooked my arms under his armpits and lifted him up to get the pressure off his neck. When I looked at his neck I saw a shoelace embedded in his red, swollen skin. He had tied one end to the metal wire phone cord and the other end around his neck. The shoelace was just as deeply embedded into the grooves of the phone cord as it was his neck. (Shoelaces are taken from inmates at the time of booking. He must have hidden it and planned to kill himself when he got to a single cell). I don’t know how long he was hanging, but he was still warm.

I can honestly say I know first hand what “dead weight” feels like. When life leaves the body there’s nothing there to help relieve the weight. I’d never felt anything like it before and hope I never do again. I kept thinking, “If only I had something sharp to cut him down!” (Correction Officers aren’t allowed to carry anything that can be used against them as a weapon. Inmates outnumbered officers 64 to 1 in a dorm.) I’d never felt so helpless. I thought, “Maybe I could hold him up with one arm and try to loosen the shoelace with my other hand”, but he was too heavy and I was afraid that if I lost my hold he would drop and the shoelace would bury deeper into his neck. All this happened within seconds, but felt like minutes. Time stood still and I remember it as clearly as rewinding and watching a movie.

When the backup officers arrived they took over. Two officers got on either side of the inmate to hold him up while another worked the shoelace from the phone cord and his neck. They carried him into the hallway where there was more room and a Sergeant performed CPR. Medical staff arrived and did what they could, but I think they knew as well as I that the inmate was dead. Another Sergeant stood next to me and said, “Let’s take a walk”. I didn’t move. I looked down at the inmate, feeling some kind of connection to him that made it difficult to leave. “Walk with me”, the Sergeant calmly repeated. He patiently waited until I felt it was okay to leave. We walked outside to a park across the street. “How are you?”, he asked. “Fine”, I said. I don’t remember much conversation, but he was very understanding and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.

I was still full of adrenaline and felt that same rush I get after working out at the gym. I don’t know how long I had been holding the dead man up before help arrived, but it was like I had super human strength at the time. I knew once the adrenaline wore off I’d be exhausted. I kept thinking how warm he was when I found him. I was the last person to feel that warmth as I held him up against my chest, his head near mine. There was no look of pain on his face despite the shoelace around his neck. I wondered how much he must have suffered in life to look so at peace in death. People at work kept asking me if I was okay and I kept saying I was fine. It was part of the job. These things happen. I did everything I could. In the weeks that followed I tried not to think about it.

Sometimes emotions are so strong they need release to move on. It began one night with a face at the foot of the bed. As my eyes adjusted to a dark bedroom, I tried to focus on what I was looking at. I could see a solid black body mass, shaped like a heavy man about 5’7 tall with no neck, hands or legs. He had a blurry, flesh toned face with a head of short, brown hair. His eyes, nose, and mouth looked like a dark smear that ran down his right cheek and his head dropped down near the right shoulder. He was unrecognizable as anyone I knew, yet I was not afraid. As I looked at him I became overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and despair. The emotional energy came in waves and kept getting stronger. Memories of the suicide came back to me and I felt the same connection to the dead man as on the day I found him. I wanted to help him, but felt helpless. I wanted to say something, but couldn’t speak. I was caught in the moment, looking at the dark mass that was him.

He never said a word, but he didn’t have to. In death he wanted me to understand what no one did when he was alive. His emotions were all he had to give and all that was left from a life no more. I felt that I knew him and began to cry. When I wiped my eyes and looked up, he was gone. I sat in bed staring at the empty space where he used to be. I was emotionally drained and tried to logically grasp what had just happened.

The incident was very personal and for that reason I decided to keep it to myself. What happened was between me and him. I hesitated when finally I told someone, not because of any ridicule I might encounter, but because I did not want to dishonor him in any way. I have the utmost respect.

Observations

The Type  is Visual  and Intelligent  because the emotions I felt were accompanied by a visual image trying to communicate with me.

It is a Level 3  because I felt the inmate’s emotions and had a physical reaction to them which made me cry.

Time of Encounter: Between 11:00 pm-12:00 am, night.

The apparition I saw did not look like the man who hung himself. The image was disfigured and shorter than he was. It was his emotional transference that identified him.

His head appeared to have no neck and was near his right shoulder.  I believe this is because the right side of his head dropped down as the left side was pulled up by the shoelace.

Where his neck would have been looked like a flesh colored, thick scarf wrapped around the bottom of his face. At first I thought this a disfigured jaw and chin. I now believe this to be a transformation of his neck. It was as if his head and neck had melted together and slid toward his right shoulder. Below this was a solid black body mass.

The separation between the light color of his head and the solid black of his body was distinct. I could not see the lower half of his body as it was blocked from view by the foot of the bed.

I was in a dark room with no light source when I saw the color of his face and hair. Maybe the energy used to transfer his emotions also created a dim light to project an image. I did not sense him before I saw him and I did not feel a change in the room temperature. He appeared and disappeared. I did not see him manifest or fade away. He did not move or change appearance. I did not feel threatened and had overwhelming compassion for him. When he was gone I knew I’d never see him again.